Author Archives: Michael Procopio

About Michael Procopio

I write about food and am very fond of Edward Gorey. And gin.

I’ll Drink to That

[She] often sounded as if someone had soaked a chain-smoking cat in scotch, then attempted to beat it to death with a megaphone. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Liquids, Rants and Stories | Tagged , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Pride Week Drink: The Debbie Gibson

Named in honor of the Queen of 80s Bubblegum Pop, the consumption of which might cause you do to forget whatever you might need to. Including the career of Ms. Gibson herself. Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Liquids | Tagged , , , , , | 17 Comments

The Chef’s Kitchen.

I gathered up enough courage to tap Ruth Reichl on the shoulder, say excuse me, and sidle past her because she was blocking my path to Ms. Silverton. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.

Foul play is not suspected. Though in excellent health for a woman of her age, her ratings had been in decline for some time. She was 88. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , | 10 Comments

The Cheese Toast Incident

As I wondered whether or not it would be a good idea to serve them more alcohol, Debbie Reynolds broke the unbearable silence. Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 30 Comments

The Patron Saint of TV Dinners

I never thought to ask St Clare to intercede on my behalf to the Swanson’s Frozen Food Company because I wasn’t certain that was her department, so I would pray to no one in particular that there was ice cream to be had in the freezer*. Continue reading

Posted in Sweets and the Like | Tagged , , , , | 16 Comments

I Killed Audrey Hepburn

It’s true that travel can broaden the mind but, in rare cases, it can also lead to an international celebrity killing spree. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Liquids, Rants and Stories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Thank You.

And here, in a furry little nut shell, is what I’ve come to think about all of this great stuff that’s happened over the past few days… Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 59 Comments

Dressing Up and Playing God.

Whenever I see salad dressing being made, whether vigorously shaken in a mason jar or cruet, I can’t help but feel– for a brief moment. at least– that the End of The World is coming. Continue reading

Posted in Rants and Stories, Salad | Tagged , , , , , , | 18 Comments

The Brown Russian

What on earth would I serve to friends who might drop by to have me explain the significance of The Kiss and Cry in Men’s Figure Skating? Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 22 Comments