Tell me a little about yourself, why don’t you.
Here’s what I may or may not already know:
1. You are functioning at a literacy rate well-exceeding elementary school levels.
2. You like food, unless you accidentally got here Googling porn (which does not necessarily exclude you from liking food as well).
3. You have a little extra time on your hands.
4. You were the nicest, smartest, and most popular girl/boy in your class.
5. You are stalking me.
The rest, frankly, is a blank. I’d love to know more. Seriously.