Category Archives: Savories

(Pimento) Cheese Balls

Posted on May 1, 2012 by Michael Procopio

I thought perhaps this dish was an acquired taste like scotch or tripe or spanking, and I was right. Nevertheless, I threw myself into the task of acclimating to its I-may-not-need-teeth-to-eat-this-but-I-will-need-a-strong-digestive-system-to-process-it texture and succeeded. Much like scotch or tripe or spanking, once you acquire that taste, there is no going back. Continue reading →

Posted in Rants and Stories, Savories | Tagged , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Die, Vampire, Die.

Posted on August 16, 2011 by Michael Procopio

We all have our demons– ghosts that haunt us, ogres who hide under our beds, vampires that swarm around our heads. I know I’ve got them and, if you’re the least bit introspective, I know you’ve got them, too.

Or, if you happen to be one of those people completely untroubled by the monsters of self-doubt, I’d love to know how you’ve managed it, though I probably won’t believe you. Continue reading →

Posted in Meatness, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Manicotti, Dad-style.

Posted on March 31, 2011 by Michael Procopio

See this young fellow? It happens to be his eightieth birthday today. And before you crack wise about his Shirley Temple ringlets, I can assure you this is a male child. I know because he’s my father. Just look at … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Savories | Tagged , , | 25 Comments

Croaked Madame

Posted on January 13, 2011 by Michael Procopio

When my brother went off to the south of France for his year abroad, one of the first things he planned to do was take a little side trip to Monaco to visit Princess Grace.

He had no prior introduction to either Her Serene Highness nor her family, but I am almost certain he considered that, since he and she were half Irish and both of their fathers were from Philadelphia, he was a shoe-in for a dinner invite. Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrities, Meatness, Sandwiches, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 35 Comments

Faggot

Posted on November 10, 2010 by Michael Procopio

I hate everything about this word. I hate the look of it, I hate the hard sound of it, I hate the power of it. I hate the hate of it. There is nothing pleasant about the word “faggot”. Even … Continue reading →

Posted in Meatness, Rants and Stories, Savories | Tagged , , , , , , | 97 Comments

Eat Me

Posted on October 6, 2010 by Michael Procopio

Let’s pretend for a moment you were asked to translate yourself into a plate of food. If you were to turn the phrase “You are what you eat” on its ear and attempt to eat what you are, what exactly … Continue reading →

Posted in Meatness, Savories | Tagged , , , , | 45 Comments

Saganaki, Unflamed

Posted on September 29, 2010 by Michael Procopio

One evening, as I passed the kitchen line of the Greek restaurant where I work, my chef asked me to do what he is always asking everyone within reach to do: run food. “Heat,” he likes to say,” is a … Continue reading →

Posted in Savories | Tagged , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Southern Accent: Collard Greens

Posted on September 8, 2010 by Michael Procopio

I’m no Southerner. No one in my family has claimed residency south of the Mason-Dixon line for at least 150 years. I do, however, like to pretend I’m from the Land of Cotton-and-Coca-Cola from time to time, just to entertain myself. … Continue reading →

Posted in Meatness, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Mmm… Popovers…

Posted on August 28, 2010 by Michael Procopio

So there I was in Neiman Marcus on a Saturday afternoon looking for a bridesmaid’s dress. My friend Shannon, who hates shopping, thought it would be a grand idea to ask along the one gay man in her universe that … Continue reading →

Posted in Breakfast Time, Meatness, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , | 22 Comments

Summer in Morocco or, Bastilla Day

Posted on August 7, 2010 by Michael Procopio

I was confused by Morocco before I ever left the plane. Looking down at its Mediterranean coastline after a stretch of late-Winter rains, I turned to the friend sitting next to me and said with more than a little disbelief: … Continue reading →

Posted in Meatness, Savories | Tagged , , , , | 13 Comments