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I’d barely recovered from the shock of waking up to a naked Clint Eastwood when all those Republican governors started singing me “Happy Birthday”. Continue reading
[W]hat was needed was a cocktail sufficiently strong-yet-understated that it might help persuade a group of sober judges to become decidedly less so. Continue reading
I happen to feel that people who like to drink their dinner should be allowed to enjoy themselves at the table just as much as those who prefer chewing do.
The evening started out innocently enough– a quiet back to school dinner with friends. But my highly-prized purity was somehow called into question before the appetizers had even arrived. Continue reading
At the time, I took it for what it was– a punchline. I found the story funny and yet I resented it to some degree because it made me hungry for something I didn’t have– a bucket of crispy, salty, golden fried chicken– and more disappointed in the steaming pot of hen flesh in front of me that seemed to fall apart in my hand. Continue reading
If you are drinking Tijuana Donkeys alone, make certain to remove the whistle from your mouth before consuming to avoid unnecessary choking hazards. Continue reading
I’m not certain if my sister simply has a thing for animals, or if they have a thing for her. Whatever the case, the feeling seems to be exceptionally mutual. Continue reading
Where would I keep him? In the closet? Not in this day and age. I don’t even have a butler’s pantry, but even if I did, it’s no place for a valet. Continue reading
As I wondered whether or not it would be a good idea to serve them more alcohol, Debbie Reynolds broke the unbearable silence. Continue reading