Category Archives: Savories

(Pimento) Cheese Balls

I thought perhaps this dish was an acquired taste like scotch or tripe or spanking, and I was right. Nevertheless, I threw myself into the task of acclimating to its I-may-not-need-teeth-to-eat-this-but-I-will-need-a-strong-digestive-system-to-process-it texture and succeeded. Much like scotch or tripe or spanking, once you acquire that taste, there is no going back. Continue reading

Posted in Rants and Stories, Savories | Tagged , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Die, Vampire, Die.

We all have our demons– ghosts that haunt us, ogres who hide under our beds, vampires that swarm around our heads. I know I’ve got them and, if you’re the least bit introspective, I know you’ve got them, too.

Or, if you happen to be one of those people completely untroubled by the monsters of self-doubt, I’d love to know how you’ve managed it, though I probably won’t believe you. Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Manicotti, Dad-style.

See this young fellow? It happens to be his eightieth birthday today. And before you crack wise about his Shirley Temple ringlets, I can assure you this is a male child. I know because he’s my father. Just look at … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Savories | Tagged , , | 25 Comments

Croaked Madame

When my brother went off to the south of France for his year abroad, one of the first things he planned to do was take a little side trip to Monaco to visit Princess Grace.

He had no prior introduction to either Her Serene Highness nor her family, but I am almost certain he considered that, since he and she were half Irish and both of their fathers were from Philadelphia, he was a shoe-in for a dinner invite. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Meatness, Sandwiches, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 35 Comments

Faggot

I hate everything about this word. I hate the look of it, I hate the hard sound of it, I hate the power of it. I hate the hate of it. There is nothing pleasant about the word “faggot”. Even … Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Rants and Stories, Savories | Tagged , , , , , , | 95 Comments

Eat Me

Let’s pretend for a moment you were asked to translate yourself into a plate of food. If you were to turn the phrase “You are what you eat” on its ear and attempt to eat what you are, what exactly … Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Savories | Tagged , , , , | 45 Comments

Saganaki, Unflamed

One evening, as I passed the kitchen line of the Greek restaurant where I work, my chef asked me to do what he is always asking everyone within reach to do: run food. “Heat,” he likes to say,” is a … Continue reading

Posted in Savories | Tagged , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Southern Accent: Collard Greens

I’m no Southerner. No one in my family has claimed residency south of the Mason-Dixon line for at least 150 years. I do, however, like to pretend I’m from the Land of Cotton-and-Coca-Cola from time to time, just to entertain myself. … Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Mmm… Popovers…

So there I was in Neiman Marcus on a Saturday afternoon looking for a bridesmaid’s dress. My friend Shannon, who hates shopping, thought it would be a grand idea to ask along the one gay man in her universe that … Continue reading

Posted in Breakfast Time, Meatness, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , | 22 Comments

Summer in Morocco or, Bastilla Day

I was confused by Morocco before I ever left the plane. Looking down at its Mediterranean coastline after a stretch of late-Winter rains, I turned to the friend sitting next to me and said with more than a little disbelief: … Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Savories | Tagged , , , , | 13 Comments