Category Archives: Rants and Stories

…and other things that may or may not involve food.

The Potion of Oblivion

I can drink sangria and watch Il Maesto’s films without tiring of either until death overtakes me. Or oblivion. Whichever one comes first. Continue reading

Posted in Liquids, Rants and Stories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , | 15 Comments

2nd in Life, 1st in Cheese

I am getting to be excellent loser. I’ve had lots of practice. And I’m quite happy to report that I don’t find that such a bad thing. Continue reading

Posted in Rants and Stories | 14 Comments

The Corn Dogs of Easter

When everyone else was praying for the souls of the recently departed, I was praying for breakfast. Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Rants and Stories | Tagged , , , | 48 Comments

A Bottle of Tokaji.

Anastasia and I were no longer staying under the roof of a stiff, unsmiling doctor. We were now under the protection of a man who once had El Comandante by the balls Continue reading

Posted in Rants and Stories | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments


Call me whatever you like: a gourmand, a gastronome, a glutton, an epicure. You can even call me an asshole, if you feel the need to after reading this. But, whatever you call me, please don’t make it “foodie”. Continue reading

Posted in Rants and Stories | 87 Comments

Hi, Bob.

By the end of the show, we were as sober Mormon judges and, as anyone but a Mormon judge would guess, not exactly thrilled about it. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Liquids, Rants and Stories | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Southern Hospitality: Shrimp & Grits

I had wanted to attend The Greenbrier symposium ever since a young woman recently returned from there mentioned it was the place to which Congress would flee in the event of a nuclear holocaust. Continue reading

Posted in Rants and Stories, Savories | Tagged , , , | 21 Comments

KY Jelly Is My New Jam

It was not what I imagined Kentucky to taste like. Continue reading

Posted in Breakfast Time, Rants and Stories, Sweets and the Like | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

Hortotiropita & The Five Stages of Restaurant Grief.

Now you can understand my state of mind when, earlier this year, I suffered my own, devastating loss– the spanakotiropita, served at my restaurant since the day it first opened, vanished into phyllo-thin air. Continue reading

Posted in Rants and Stories, Savories | Tagged , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Anchovy Lover

Serve the First-Day anchovies on their own, with just a drizzle of the marinade and a squeeze of fresh lemon.

Serve Second-Day anchovies on toasted bread with great lashings of butter.

Serve Third-Day anchovies to your cat.

Do not serve Seventh-Day anchovies on the Sabbath. Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Rants and Stories, Savories | Tagged , , | 35 Comments