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Category Archives: Rants and Stories
…and other things that may or may not involve food.
(Pimento) Cheese Balls
I thought perhaps this dish was an acquired taste like scotch or tripe or spanking, and I was right. Nevertheless, I threw myself into the task of acclimating to its I-may-not-need-teeth-to-eat-this-but-I-will-need-a-strong-digestive-system-to-process-it texture and succeeded. Much like scotch or tripe or spanking, once you acquire that taste, there is no going back. Continue reading →
Posted in Rants and Stories, Savories
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Tagged candied pecans, cheese balls, cheese pops, Florida Evans, pimento cheese, pops, Southern food
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35 Comments
Goodbye Twelve, Hello Thirteen…
What mattered, I suppose, was that a throng of teenaged girls loved it. Well, they loved the cake pops certainly. They ate what was underneath when there were no more of them to devour. What (seemingly) took forever to produce was gone in no time.
Just like my goddaughter’s little girlhood. Continue reading →
Posted in Holidays, Rants and Stories, Sweets and the Like
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Tagged birthday cake, cake pops, goddaughters, godfathers, growing up, ice cream cake, the new yorker
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49 Comments
Happy New Year, Happy Old Year.
My first act of the New Year– make that my third act of the New Year after flushing the Old Year down the toilet and washing my hands with soap and hot water– was to bake a loaf of bread. … Continue reading →
Posted in Holidays, Rants and Stories
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Tagged bread, mushrooms, New Year's, thanks, toast
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26 Comments
Practically Imperfect in Every Way.
I’ve had a difficult relationship with “perfect” ever since I witnessed a measuring tape belonging to Mary Poppins refer to her as practically so in every way. We have the same initials, Mary and I, so the self-imposed pressure to emulate her … Continue reading →
Posted in Holidays, Rants and Stories, Sweets and the Like
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Tagged dragons, failure, Mary Poppins, perfect, pistachio, poached pears, ricotta, writer's block
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45 Comments
Giving Proper Thanks
I’m not much of a holiday person. While the essence of Christmas is a lovely thought, I can’t bear suffering through six to eight weeks of blinking lights and enforced good cheer. New Year’s Eve is nearly always disappointing, filled … Continue reading →
Posted in Holidays, Rants and Stories
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Tagged caretakers, giving thanks, holidays, pastitsio, taking care, thanksgiving
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31 Comments
Not Dead, But Resting
Dear kind readers and gentlepeople, This is just a little note let you know that Food for The Thoughtless is not dead, but merely taking a much-needed rest. The author (pictured above) needed lots of sleep during the month of … Continue reading →
In Case You Missed It…
Delicate matters such as venereal disease, marriage problems, interfamily issues, and the consistency of one’s stool are just a few examples of things that are best not discussed on Twitter. Unless, of course, you are Direct Messaging your doctor or marriage counselor. Continue reading →
Posted in Rants and Stories
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Tagged etiquette, how to guide for twitter, in case you missed it, twitter
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60 Comments
John Wayne’s Meatballs
The most famous movie cowboy in history was standing a few yards from me, sipping coffee in an old burgundy-colored robe. I waved to him and smiled. He waved back. It should have been a simple, brief encounter between a movie star and a five year-old boy except for one, important detail:
He wasn’t wearing any briefs. Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrities, Meatness, Rants and Stories
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Tagged celebrity genitalia, childhood memories, John Wayne, meatball sandwich, meatballs
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37 Comments
Touchscreen Dining: Out of Touch?
Have you seen this contraption? It’s a 7 inch tall interactive, touchscreen restaurant menu tablet from E La Carte. And it might very well be part of your dining future. My feelings toward it are mixed, at best. I am … Continue reading →
Posted in Rants and Stories
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Tagged autism, computers, dining, e la carte, Opinion, restaurants, touchscreen ordering, waiters
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29 Comments
Faggot
I hate everything about this word. I hate the look of it, I hate the hard sound of it, I hate the power of it. I hate the hate of it. There is nothing pleasant about the word “faggot”. Even … Continue reading →
Posted in Meatness, Rants and Stories, Savories
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Tagged bullying, faggot, faggots, gay, guts, homophobia, recipe
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84 Comments