Category Archives: Meatness

All things animal flesh.

Sunday Chicken Dinner Salad

I happen to like multiple flavors and textures in my mouth at the same time. And I mean that in the cleanest way possible.
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Posted in Meatness, Rants and Stories, Salad | Tagged , , , | 23 Comments

The Amateur Gorme

I had hoped the subtext of my gesture expressed the message “I now know your secret and will carry it to my grave”, but such things are extremely difficult to convey in low light with a mediocre musical number performed by under-rehearsed former celebrities happening behind you… Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Meatness, Rants and Stories | Tagged , , , , , | 14 Comments

2nd Place Sandwich

It seems I had missed the part where, by accepting, I had agreed to participate in a Top Chef-style sandwich making throw down with two other bloggers. In front of a panel of judges. Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Sandwiches | Tagged , , , , | 19 Comments

Anchovy Lover

Serve the First-Day anchovies on their own, with just a drizzle of the marinade and a squeeze of fresh lemon.

Serve Second-Day anchovies on toasted bread with great lashings of butter.

Serve Third-Day anchovies to your cat.

Do not serve Seventh-Day anchovies on the Sabbath. Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Rants and Stories, Savories | Tagged , , | 33 Comments

Die, Vampire, Die.

We all have our demons– ghosts that haunt us, ogres who hide under our beds, vampires that swarm around our heads. I know I’ve got them and, if you’re the least bit introspective, I know you’ve got them, too.

Or, if you happen to be one of those people completely untroubled by the monsters of self-doubt, I’d love to know how you’ve managed it, though I probably won’t believe you. Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 33 Comments

John Wayne’s Meatballs

The most famous movie cowboy in history was standing a few yards from me, sipping coffee in an old burgundy-colored robe. I waved to him and smiled. He waved back. It should have been a simple, brief encounter between a movie star and a five year-old boy except for one, important detail:

He wasn’t wearing any briefs. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Meatness, Rants and Stories | Tagged , , , , | 38 Comments

Croaked Madame

When my brother went off to the south of France for his year abroad, one of the first things he planned to do was take a little side trip to Monaco to visit Princess Grace.

He had no prior introduction to either Her Serene Highness nor her family, but I am almost certain he considered that, since he and she were half Irish and both of their fathers were from Philadelphia, he was a shoe-in for a dinner invite. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Meatness, Sandwiches, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 35 Comments

Faggot

I hate everything about this word. I hate the look of it, I hate the hard sound of it, I hate the power of it. I hate the hate of it. There is nothing pleasant about the word “faggot”. Even … Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Rants and Stories, Savories | Tagged , , , , , , | 95 Comments

Eat Me

Let’s pretend for a moment you were asked to translate yourself into a plate of food. If you were to turn the phrase “You are what you eat” on its ear and attempt to eat what you are, what exactly … Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Savories | Tagged , , , , | 45 Comments

Southern Accent: Collard Greens

I’m no Southerner. No one in my family has claimed residency south of the Mason-Dixon line in at least 150 years. I do, however, like to pretend I’m from the Land of Cotton-and-Coca-Cola from time to time, just to entertain … Continue reading

Posted in Meatness, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments