Category Archives: Celebrities

Recipes inspired by the famous living and the famous dead.

I’ll Drink to That

[She] often sounded as if someone had soaked a chain-smoking cat in scotch, then attempted to beat it to death with a megaphone. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Liquids, Rants and Stories | Tagged , , , , , , | 20 Comments

The Chef’s Kitchen.

I gathered up enough courage to tap Ruth Reichl on the shoulder, say excuse me, and sidle past her because she was blocking my path to Ms. Silverton. Continue reading

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Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.

Foul play is not suspected. Though in excellent health for a woman of her age, her ratings had been in decline for some time. She was 88. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , | 12 Comments

I Killed Audrey Hepburn

It’s true that travel can broaden the mind but, in rare cases, it can also lead to an international celebrity killing spree. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Liquids, Rants and Stories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged , , , , , , | 31 Comments

The Amateur Gorme

I had hoped the subtext of my gesture expressed the message “I now know your secret and will carry it to my grave”, but such things are extremely difficult to convey in low light with a mediocre musical number performed by under-rehearsed former celebrities happening behind you… Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Meatness, Rants and Stories | Tagged , , , , , | 14 Comments

Hi, Bob.

By the end of the show, we were as sober Mormon judges and, as anyone but a Mormon judge would guess, not exactly thrilled about it. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Liquids, Rants and Stories | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Arnold Palmiers, A Tee Time Treat

For those of you unfamiliar with the Arnold Palmer, it is a blended, non-alcoholic beverage: half iced tea, half lemonade. For those of you unfamiliar with the Arnold Palmer, he is an 82 year-old male who is famous for manipulating a small, dimpled ball into a hole in the ground using a variety of sticks: half man, half golfing legend. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Sweets and the Like | Tagged , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Donna Summer Hot Lunch.

When disco invaded my home in the spring of 1976, it came by virtue of Donna Summer’s voice. Perhaps “virtue” is a poor word choice given the fact that, thanks to the her extended dance version of the song “Love to Love You Baby”, I learned how to fake an orgasm at the tender age of six. Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, Sandwiches | Tagged , , , , | 36 Comments

Super Tuesday Santorum Cake

This rich, chocolatey cake is entirely egg-free. Not due to wartime rationing, thank heavens, but because the author believes deeply in the concept of chickenhood. All eggs– both fertilized and non– have the right to grow into the poultry God intended them to be: clucking, happy, beheaded, fried, and eaten on the campaign trail.

The absence of dairy products means the texture of this dessert utterly oil-dependent.

And, of course, there are nuts.
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Posted in Celebrities, Sweets and the Like | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Lost in Translation: A Love Cake

It looked like a Dutch Baby abandoned on the doorstep of a French woman with no maternal instinct.
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Posted in Celebrities, Holidays | Tagged , , , , , , , | 24 Comments