Author Archives: Michael Procopio

Happy New Year, Happy Old Year.

Posted on January 2, 2012 by Michael Procopio

My first act of the New Year– make that my third act of the New Year after flushing the Old Year down the toilet and washing my hands with soap and hot water– was to bake a loaf of bread. … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Rants and Stories | Tagged bread, mushrooms, New Year's, thanks, toast | 26 Comments

Practically Imperfect in Every Way.

Posted on December 22, 2011 by Michael Procopio

I’ve had a difficult relationship with “perfect” ever since I witnessed a measuring tape belonging to Mary Poppins refer to her as practically so in every way. We have the same initials, Mary and I, so the self-imposed pressure to emulate her … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Rants and Stories, Sweets and the Like | Tagged dragons, failure, Mary Poppins, perfect, pistachio, poached pears, ricotta, writer's block | 45 Comments

Giving Proper Thanks

Posted on November 23, 2011 by Michael Procopio

I’m not much of a holiday person. While the essence of Christmas is a lovely thought, I can’t bear suffering through six to eight weeks of blinking lights and enforced good cheer. New Year’s Eve is nearly always disappointing, filled … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Rants and Stories | Tagged caretakers, giving thanks, holidays, pastitsio, taking care, thanksgiving | 31 Comments

Rosemary’s Baby Food

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Michael Procopio

The great 20th century poet/philosopher Pat Benatar once remarked that “hell is for children.” Jean-Paul Sartre, a lesser-known thinker from the same century, wrote that “hell is other people.” I would like to take these ideas to the next, logical … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged baby food, evil, Halloween, Rosemary's Baby, satan | 22 Comments

Not Dead, But Resting

Posted on October 5, 2011 by Michael Procopio

Dear kind readers and gentlepeople, This is just a little note let you know that Food for The Thoughtless is not dead, but merely taking a much-needed rest. The author (pictured above) needed lots of sleep during the month of … Continue reading →

Posted in Rants and Stories | Tagged Best Food Writing, blogging, Greenbrier, resting | 36 Comments

In Case You Missed It…

Posted on August 25, 2011 by Michael Procopio

Delicate matters such as venereal disease, marriage problems, interfamily issues, and the consistency of one’s stool are just a few examples of things that are best not discussed on Twitter. Unless, of course, you are Direct Messaging your doctor or marriage counselor. Continue reading →

Posted in Rants and Stories | Tagged etiquette, how to guide for twitter, in case you missed it, twitter | 60 Comments

Die, Vampire, Die.

Posted on August 16, 2011 by Michael Procopio

We all have our demons– ghosts that haunt us, ogres who hide under our beds, vampires that swarm around our heads. I know I’ve got them and, if you’re the least bit introspective, I know you’ve got them, too.

Or, if you happen to be one of those people completely untroubled by the monsters of self-doubt, I’d love to know how you’ve managed it, though I probably won’t believe you. Continue reading →

Posted in Meatness, Savories, Stage, Film, and Television | Tagged chicken, chicken with 40 cloves of garlic, demons, Garlic, Title of Show, vampires, writing | 33 Comments

Danish Modern

Posted on July 27, 2011 by Michael Procopio

I struggled with the naming of this drink. “The Melancholy Dane” first came to mind, but it’s not exactly what the Crown Prince had in mind when he asked me to cheer up his country. One look at the cherry sunk at the bottom of the glass inspired “The Drowning Ophelia”, but even that was still a bit grim– almost necrophilic. Continue reading →

Posted in Liquids | Tagged aperitif, cocktail, denmark, kijafa, michael vick, prince frederik, queen margrethe, royalty | 18 Comments

John Wayne’s Meatballs

Posted on July 12, 2011 by Michael Procopio

The most famous movie cowboy in history was standing a few yards from me, sipping coffee in an old burgundy-colored robe. I waved to him and smiled. He waved back. It should have been a simple, brief encounter between a movie star and a five year-old boy except for one, important detail:

He wasn’t wearing any briefs. Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrities, Meatness, Rants and Stories | Tagged celebrity genitalia, childhood memories, John Wayne, meatball sandwich, meatballs | 37 Comments

Gin Blossom Dearie or, What I Learned from Schoolhouse Rock.

Posted on June 16, 2011 by Michael Procopio

Cool as a cucumber; as floral and sweet as her name, but with a little bit of a bitter edge. The blossoms of Spring may have faded and dropped their petals, but this, dear readers is my blossom of Summer. I plan on having several, though not all at once. Ideally, I’ll find a refreshing breeze and someone to peel my grapes for me as I lounge and sip; happy to know that The Best Is Yet To Come. Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrities, Liquids | Tagged Blossom Dearie, cocktail, Gin Blossom Dearie, relationships, Schoolhouse Rock | 39 Comments